I sit in a white room,
I look up at the clock.
The time seems as it has stopped.
The nerves I have seemed to get bigger and there’s adrenaline running through my body that I can’t explain.
Something inside of me tells me to walk out to retract myself from the decision I’m making.
The thoughts in my head feel like a knot in a rope, so hard to untangle.
The man in the white robe walks in and asks the one question that has tormented me for the past hour.
“Miss are you ready?” As he begins the procedure I feel a slight sting in my arm that takes me away from the thoughts, the world, the time.
In that journey I reflect on the decision that was taken and I want to retract, but there’s no turning back.
A feeling of dizziness and confusion was what I felt when I woke up.
As I walked out of there, something caught my attention, it was a woman holding a beautiful child in her hands.
Right then I realized I was a cowardly monster that took the spark, the shine, the life of something that could have been wonderful and replaced it with a dark empty space inside of me.

Shoes

  Running in the park,

 Walking in the street,

            Standing still where I pleased

     My beautiful shape,  

       My rich texture with a radiant color everyone can see

Oh how I did, show off as entered the rooms

I could feel their envy as I passed by

   

Could it have been the curvy shape?

Or the way I was beautifully made?

But, now it's not what it used to be

On and off so many times

Old and torn

The color has faded 

The shape has

disappeared 

I sit in the closet

Where no one sees, or remembers how popular and beautiful

I used to be   

       

I remember perfectly like it was yesterday
seeing the body of the woman who once said was my mother
her body firmly laying there
motionless, helpless, blood dripping from open wounds
she does not feel, touch or shout all that is left is flesh
the flesh of the monster that will never hurt me again
as a child she pretended to be the right mother
so loving and caring in the end it seemed to be a nightmare
I couldn't wake up of years pass
her presence with in me felt stronger
her happiness brought me sadness
I felt as I was a slave chained to her anger,hate and commands
my fragile arms bruised my body aching in pain
the fury running through my veins my pulse telling me to destroy the object of my torture
I feel satisfaction the pleasure of ending my suffering
I FEEL NO REGRETS